“You speak really good English for someone from Scotland”

Sometimes people say this kind of stuff to me when I’m on the road. Sometimes I eavesdrop.

1. “You speak really good English for someone from Scotland.” Gas station attendant, Hoquiam, Washington, Chapter 6: Hellhole of the Pacific

2. “Well, when you find a woman who ain’t your cousin round these parts, you want to grab them fast. Why don’t you stay, we’ll get a cabin up in the woods, have us a shackload of kids?” Man with three teeth, Gatlinburg, Tennessee, Chapter 14: Land of my Heart Forever

3. “There ain’t no dress code in the desert.” Charlie, President of the Snakehole Golf and Country Club, Apache Junction, Arizona, Chapter 7: Tilted Kilts

4. “To play golf round here, you play with your wife if she plays. If she don’t, you go git somebody else’s wife. Or a widow lady. Then you git cake and coffee.” Charlie, President of the Snakehole Golf and Country Club, Apache Junction, Arizona, Chapter 7: Tilted Kilts

5. “Ah, i love you kilt and thistle with your tartan bounty and rich heritage! Tartan bounty, hu-rah!” Kilt and Thistle Shoppe MySpace page, Salem, Oregon, Chapter 2: Additional Badgers

6. “Of course, I have a favourite president and that president was Mitterand. … Mitterand rocked it.” Strung out guy on Greyhound bus from Seattle to Olympia, Washington, Chapter 6: Hellhole of the Pacific

7. “Your accent! It’s real! Ah’ve only heard Scottish accents on TV!” Woman in “Scottish milkmaid” outfit, Memphis, Tennessee, Chapter 5: Hark, The Pies Are Calling

8. “Ah shoot ‘em. Ah hunt an’ kill ‘em.” Duck hunter at next table, Automatic Slim’s Tonga Club, Memphis, Tennessee, Chapter 5: Hark, The Pies Are Calling

9. “I am not a fan of this city. In my next life I will not come back to Memphis. I don’t like Elvis.” Jama, Somalian taxi driver, Memphis, Tennessee, Chapter 5: Hark, the Pies are Calling

10. “They speak what in Scotland, Dutch?” Jama, Somalian taxi driver, Memphis, Tennessee, Chapter 5: Hark, the Pies are Calling

11. “Braveheart! Yes, yes! And this is true? The ending? The quarters?” Jama, Somalian taxi driver, Memphis, Tennessee, Chapter 5: Hark, the Pies are Calling

12. “When I moved here forty years ago, I’d never seen so much tartan in my life. We’re Glaswegians. We don’t do that.” 86-year-old Alex Pratt from Springburn, Glasgow in Honolulu, Oahu, Chapter 1: Far Off In Sunlit Places

13. “This isn’t Scotland, this is bloody Brigadoon. It certainly isn’t the Scotland I come from.” Scottish politician’s wife watching New York’s Tartan Day Parade, Chapter 11: Bloody Brigadoon

14. “This is a weird amount of enthusiasm for a bunch of white people.” Charles from South Carolina watching New York’s Tartan Day Parade, Chapter 11: Bloody Brigadoon

15. “I don’t like hot cheese. I only like cold cheese.” Dan, former police officer and Clan Gow representative, Gatlinburg, Tennessee, Chapter 14: Land of my Heart Forever

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2 Responses to “You speak really good English for someone from Scotland”

  1. Melissa October 21, 2010 at 7:58 pm #

    Brilliant! Trying to supress laughter at work…

  2. Tanja August 5, 2010 at 11:02 pm #

    I love it.

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