Everyone loves a Terrier

Notes from when I went to Georgia to go to a Scottie dog festival…

Driving to Savannah. Savannah! Margaret Mitchell’s “Gently mannered city by the sea!” Hmmm. Where’s the sea? Perhaps behind those heavily fenced liquor stores? Or guarded by that belligerent fiercely tattooed guy over there? Ooh, look! You can buy alcohol with food stamps here. Driver won’t let me. Disappointing. No sea here. No sea here. Hmmm. Perhaps wrong exit? Definitely wrong exit. Margaret Mitchell probably didn’t have to go through quite as many Police Drug Check Points. Probably spent less time loitering outside the KwikStop, too.

Savannah, there you are! Spooky ghost tour. Locked in a bathroom with lights out in Savannah’s most haunted house on Halloween night. Lock broken and refusing to unlock. Car headlights suddenly race across the wall. Yelping like terrier.

Walking into a packed Scottish bar (badly) dressed as a Scottish Terrier. Everyone else is sexy nurse, sexy firefighter, sexy cop. Terriers not sexy. Even South Carolina Quarter and Condom move away and hit on sexy fishmonger. Fishmongers are not sexy! At club, later. Terriers are sexy! Halloween is great! Those Georgians sure like straightening my ears. Dr Spock and vast drag queen Kirstie Alley are very enthusiastic. Sarah Palin, even more so. I love terriers. And Georgians. Pursuit by Sarah Palin… Time to leave.

Heard the Georgia Scottie Dog Festival before we saw it. Scottie dog sock race best race since the snail race at the Australian Embassy. About same speed. Silly wee beasties! Silly wee legs.

Let’s take back roads! They are sure to be scenic! Time to play Back Roads Bingo!

Discarded kitchen appliance, check.

Abandoned dairy treat stand, check.

Wood carving intended to look like Elvis. Or Susan Boyle. Or ET. Check.

Back roads scenic, but full of dead armadillos. Why does that man have a foot and a half long knife? Why is he looking at us like that? Gas running out. What a dark and ominous wood. That pickup is quite close behind us. Oh, look! It’s the man with the knife. Gas station! More men with knives. Time to leave rural Georgia. Atlanta, what a delight to see you…

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