Finally, I no longer need to feel torn between whether to wear my official clan tartan options or the makey-uppy Mulholland one printed out for me by a charming gentleman I met in a muddy field in East Tennessee. And forget all previous plans I had to get kitted out head to toe in official Shrek Tartan. Ogre tartan is totally over. Now there’s something guaranteed to cut far more of a dash should I ever need to get tartaned up for any Scottish events. To celebrate the arrival of Scotland’s two loaner pandas, Edinburgh Zoo has revealed an official panda tartan!
I heard about this amazing creation a couple of weeks ago when I was home in Glasgow, watching TV with my mum. As the BBC reporter told us how the tartan featured black and white, plus green for bamboo and red to “reflect the warmth of the hearts of the people of Scotland as they welcome their new pandas”, my mum and I guffawed with laughter and literally fell on the floor, clutching our sides with mirth.
Nobody has yet glimpsed our pandas sporting any items made of their fetching personal tartan. A shame, really. I think Sweetie and Sunshine would look rather dashing with a nice tartan cape, jaunty wee tartan hat or plaid slacks. Just to demonstrate, I dug this old beast out of a box – yep, a panda wearing pretty much Edinburgh Zoo’s exact Panda Tartan, commissioned by me, aged somewhere around three so my beloved bear could have a suit like my ever well dressed dad.
Edinburgh Zoo, I was 30-something years ahead of you.