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Things I’ve Done While Working On This Book That I Would Not Otherwise Have Done

1. Realised too late that I had forgotten the most vital element of my Halloween costume — tequila — and had to walk into a crowded Savannah Scottish bar dressed as a Scottish terrier, sober. First Dogs, Savannah, Georgia   2. Tried to play upwind while golfing on a desert sand course where they harden the […]

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“You speak really good English for someone from Scotland”

“You speak really good English for someone from Scotland”

Sometimes people say this kind of stuff to me when I’m on the road. Sometimes I eavesdrop. 1. “You speak really good English for someone from Scotland.” Gas station attendant, Hoquiam, Washington, Chapter 6: Hellhole of the Pacific 2. “Well, when you find a woman who ain’t your cousin round these parts, you want to grab them […]

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Tartan Day!

I’m sure everyone else is just as excited about it being Tartan Day as I am. Tartan Day, yeah! That’s right, the day when people round the world carouse and consume tartan-coloured pints and everyone wears tartan… Um… Yeah, I know, most people have never heard of Tartan Day. Like the Patrick’s Day parades, Tartan Day was […]

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“You speak really good English for someone from Scotland”

Sometimes people say this kind of stuff to me when I’m on the road. Sometimes I eavesdrop.

“Well, when you find a woman who ain’t your cousin round these parts, you want to grab them fast. Why don’t you stay, we’ll get a cabin up in the woods, have us a shackload of kids?” Man with three teeth, Gatlinburg, Tennessee

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