1. Realised too late that I had forgotten the most vital element of my Halloween costume — tequila — and had to walk into a crowded Savannah Scottish bar dressed as a Scottish terrier, sober. First Dogs, Savannah, Georgia 2. Tried to play upwind while golfing on a desert sand course where they harden the […]
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“You speak really good English for someone from Scotland”
Sometimes people say this kind of stuff to me when I’m on the road. Sometimes I eavesdrop. 1. “You speak really good English for someone from Scotland.” Gas station attendant, Hoquiam, Washington, Chapter 6: Hellhole of the Pacific 2. “Well, when you find a woman who ain’t your cousin round these parts, you want to grab them […]
“You speak really good English for someone from Scotland”
Sometimes people say this kind of stuff to me when I’m on the road. Sometimes I eavesdrop.
“Well, when you find a woman who ain’t your cousin round these parts, you want to grab them fast. Why don’t you stay, we’ll get a cabin up in the woods, have us a shackload of kids?” Man with three teeth, Gatlinburg, Tennessee
Hellhole of the Pacific… the final part
While my travelling companion wrestles with a belligerent windscreen wiper, I pop into a gas station to pick us up some refreshments. Stepping into the brightly lit store, a fakey doorbell DING! announces my entry and a slow drawl comes from the back, “Be out in a minute.” “No hurry,” I say, scanning for the […]
Hellhole of the Pacific… part 3
The scenery soon lurches from Bedraggled Small Town to Smoky Industrial. A sign looms on the right, “Welcome to Aberdeen! Come as you are.” I have. I’ve made it. I’m here. When I first lived in the U.S., I traveled round the country with my brother Mark. People would look up from glowing televisions to […]
Hellhole of the Pacific… part 2
In Seattle Greyhound Station, disheveled and disgruntled passengers slump in molded plastic chairs. A tumult of arcade machines chirp, ca-ching and whistle off to one side. From the numbers of slumpers, it looks like unless I perfect professional glowering skills and attain truly shocking levels of pungency in the half hour before the bus leaves, […]
Hellhole of the Pacific… part 1
… or the time I thought it would be amusing to visit Aberdeen, Washington. The Scottish Aberdeen has merely two tame nicknames: The Granite City and the Silver City. Its progeny Aberdeen, Washington, is way ahead. For a town of only 16,000, it has a bristle of aliases. There’s The Gateway to the Olympic Peninsula, […]
