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The Parish Talent Show

  I have always had an unreasonable fear of singing in public. While I dream of being the one who vaults in front of the microphone to entertain the amazed masses, I am instead the one who blunders to the back of the room, making panicstruck attempts to blend into the curtains, foliage or profiterole […]

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All Things Anger You And The Cat Breaks Your Heart

I’ve been catching up on my reading and in between re-reading my favourite book, The Good Fairies of New York, by my favourite author, fellow Scot Martin Millar and dipping into my battered Boyfriend 1963 annual, I’ve been poring over Scottish Proverbs. In this classic from 1948, Forbes MacGregor tells us, “There is no surer guide to […]

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Baby Raccoon Raccoonarama

A couple of weeks ago, a fat elderly raccoon with what looked like cataracts started hanging out on our back deck. Being a non-North American, I think raccoons are exotic and awesome and, on sighting one scurrying into the garbage, get as excited as an American spotting their very first free-range haggis. “A raccoon!” I […]

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A Highland Cow in a Rowing Boat

On board flight UA592 to Dallas, I examine Gaelic Without Groans, the text book I have pilfered from my sister Orla’s old childhood bedroom. The cover boasts an ecstatic pink Highland cow perched in a rowing boat. The cow appears quite at home in such a craft. It looks like it has spent its life […]

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My Mother Does Not Like Squirrels

This is an edit of a wee something I was writing for something else… I’m supposed to be writing about Texas today, but I always seem to be able to find reasons to postpone writing about Texas, such as my mother’s dislike of squirrels. Writing about Texas is hard, writing about squirrels is easy. Texas […]

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Me and the Alphabet of Knowledge

Despite my Scottish accent, both my names are as Irish as a grumpy donkey tied outside a whitewashed cottage, seagulls trying to steal chips on Dun Laoire Pier, and the ability to tolerate excessive levels of shocking shamrockery in order to fleece tourists of pint-money during the weeks around St. Patrick’s Day. Aefa is a […]

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Panda Tartan: Edinburgh Zoo I was 30-something years ahead of you

Finally, I no longer need to feel torn between whether to wear my official clan tartan options or the makey-uppy Mulholland one printed out for me by a charming gentleman I met in a muddy field in East Tennessee. And forget all previous plans I had to get kitted out head to toe in official Shrek […]

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“I love you kilt and thistle with your tartan bounty and rich heritage”

Notes from a morning in Portland, Oregon, during which I continue to be perplexed about the fact that people make sporrans — Scottish manbags/kilt accessories — out of animal heads, after a visit to the Kilt and Thistle Shoppe in Salem. The next day at the Fresh Pot coffeehouse in Portland, I scroll down the […]

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Additional “Additional Badgers”

Additional Badgers… part 2 Being a relatively new resident of North America, amusing beasties such as raccoons and skunks still have me pointing and exclaiming with delight. I am still not 100% sure of appropriate creature encounter behaviour. I think I’ve got the basics of bear etiquette down – it’s all in the claws, apparently […]

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Additional Badgers

Additional Badgers

Driving toward Salem, we seem to be heading straight into a rain cloud. It looms forbiddingly on the horizon. This Salem, an un-witchy one, is the capital of Oregon, home to a population of 140,000, a stately university campus and dozens of imposing government buildings. It also boasts an impressive tally of no less than […]

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