Tag Archives | Tartan Day
“You speak really good English for someone from Scotland”

“You speak really good English for someone from Scotland”

Sometimes people say this kind of stuff to me when I’m on the road. Sometimes I eavesdrop. 1. “You speak really good English for someone from Scotland.” Gas station attendant, Hoquiam, Washington, Chapter 6: Hellhole of the Pacific 2. “Well, when you find a woman who ain’t your cousin round these parts, you want to grab them […]

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My Declaration of Arbroath

Here is my translation of Scotland’s most important document, said to be the basis for the US Declaration of Independence. I paraphrased a bit. Jesus didn’t say “awesome” all that often. To read my fascinating pre-translation ramble on the topic of Tartan Day, click here. Dear Pope, We are a posse of Scottish blokes. The Scots […]

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Tartan Day!

I’m sure everyone else is just as excited about it being Tartan Day as I am. Tartan Day, yeah! That’s right, the day when people round the world carouse and consume tartan-coloured pints and everyone wears tartan… Um… Yeah, I know, most people have never heard of Tartan Day. Like the Patrick’s Day parades, Tartan Day was […]

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“You speak really good English for someone from Scotland”

Sometimes people say this kind of stuff to me when I’m on the road. Sometimes I eavesdrop.

“Well, when you find a woman who ain’t your cousin round these parts, you want to grab them fast. Why don’t you stay, we’ll get a cabin up in the woods, have us a shackload of kids?” Man with three teeth, Gatlinburg, Tennessee

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