Still at the Kilt and Thistle Shoppe in Salem, Oregon, I search for my tartan. William is a man who knows his tartans and is happy to show me my colours on an aged monitor similar to the one I first played Donkey Kong on. We scroll through the 5000 tartans contained in the database […]
Tag Archives | Scotland
The Tartan Radar
…in which I continue my quest to become 100% Scottish by venturing into a Scottish Shoppe in Salem, Oregon My pace slows as I register the wail of bagpipes filling the synthetically bright, subterranean-level shoppe with their insistent drone. I am instantly sobered by their sound and assailed with sudden doubts about my ability to […]
Hellhole of the Pacific… part 2
In Seattle Greyhound Station, disheveled and disgruntled passengers slump in molded plastic chairs. A tumult of arcade machines chirp, ca-ching and whistle off to one side. From the numbers of slumpers, it looks like unless I perfect professional glowering skills and attain truly shocking levels of pungency in the half hour before the bus leaves, […]
Hellhole of the Pacific… part 1
… or the time I thought it would be amusing to visit Aberdeen, Washington. The Scottish Aberdeen has merely two tame nicknames: The Granite City and the Silver City. Its progeny Aberdeen, Washington, is way ahead. For a town of only 16,000, it has a bristle of aliases. There’s The Gateway to the Olympic Peninsula, […]
The American Way
I’m back in Portland after my first Highland Games and on the phone to my mum. I tell her about the knight with the chain mail and the visor and she guffaws. I tell her that the only recognizable bits of our Scotland were a few chocolate bars, the fish and chips, and the pricey […]
Tiger tales
Seated in the front row of the 13,000-seat Memorial Coliseum for Portland’s Rose Parade, Dan and I consult the programme. It promises all sorts of shenanigans from the parade’s 5000 participants. I’m most looking forward to the Oregon Association of Mounted Posses, which is due to trot out “more than 75 horses and riders representing […]
Portland, Oregon, and Sloe Gin Fizz
“Well Portland Oregon and sloe gin fizz, if that ain’t love then tell me what is. Well I lost my heart it didn’t take no time, but that ain’t all. I lost my mind in Oregon.” So warble Loretta Lynn and Jack White on the track, “Portland, Oregon.” It seems that Loretta and Jack are […]
Crosschecking: Vancouver to Portland
I stand in line for U.S. immigration at Vancouver airport, beside a sign warning that maple syrup is among prohibited items in hand baggage, and entertain myself with syrupy sweet plans to wreak havoc and destruction on an unsuspecting world. I smirk at my sticky schemes and an elegant East European woman moves away from […]
Honolulu chippie
As close as I could get to Scottish cuisine in Waikiki. It wasn’t quite up to the fried delicacies from the local back home, The Chip Chik Inn, but close. I think the addition of the lavender mojito helped. The Chip Chik Inn’s drinks menu only goes as far as Irn Bru.
Me – and marmots – on CBC
A few people have asked me about the marmot theme park I mention in the CBC interview. La Montagne aux Marmottes! A whole park devoted to the furry wee beasties!
